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Assume the position

by FellMonster

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1.
I was in the kitchen, I was making food When I turned round to see her, she was in the nude And I was, taken by surprise I was gonna ask her if she wanted a brew When I turned round to see, I got full frontal view And I was quickly on the rise She’s been reading “Fifty Shades of Grey” Now she’s on the rampage, it’s no lie She keeps saying, she’s gonna make my day Her hands are full of gags and cable ties I was in the garage, I was rootin’ around When she appeared behind me, threw me to the ground And she said, that she needed ‘fixed’ Was just about to tell her ‘bout the dirty task When I turned round I realised she was wearing a mask And my neck was being licked. She can’t wait to get me naked She can’t wait to be alone with me
2.
She makes me call her Balloo She makes noises fit for a zoo She does things I wouldn’t do And it’s becoming a chore She calls me Mowgli too I’m barefoot, I’m without my shoes on Loincloth wrapped as you do I’m heading straight for the door She is mine, love her forever but I’ve had enough of this She is mine, she’s thinks it’s sexy but I think she’s taking the piss Fuck the Jungle Book (I want to be Simba) Fuck the Jungle Book I can’t wait Oh I can’t wait to be King She’s like Bagheera diseased I want Shakira upon her knees King Louie’s up in the trees And this is a swingers zoo She likes to tug on my vine She’s clearly having a great time I want the birds and the bees I don’t know what to do She is mine, love her forever but I’ve had enough of this She is mine, she’s thinks it’s sexy but I think she’s taking the piss She is mine, love her forever but I’ve had enough of this She is mine, she’s thinks it’s sexy but I think she’s taking the piss Fuck the Jungle Book (I want to be Simba) Fuck the Jungle Book I can’t wait Oh I can’t wait to be King
3.
They told her......she could be in movies They told her she could be a star They told her they wanted her to audition They told her to leave the door ajar That’s when they asked her to take her clothes off Before they asked her to open wide And when they said, “My pretty, It’s time, dear, to get dirty” It finally dawned on her, the cameraman had lied They told her, she could be like Audrey Hepburn That she could have a great career They told her that she had a supermodel’s body With them as her agent, she’d have nothing to fear That’s when they asked her to take her clothes off Before they asked her to open wide And when they said. “My pretty, It’s time, dear, to get dirty” It finally dawned on her, the cameraman had lied She had waited such a long, long time She was out of money and was still in line She waited long, long time Her patience had finally run out They told her......she could be in movies They told her she could be a star They told her they wanted her to audition They told her to leave the door ajar That’s when they asked her to take her clothes off Before they asked her to open wide And when they said. “My pretty, It’s time, dear, to get dirty” It finally dawned on her, the cameraman had lied
4.
I crashed my car into the side of a house last month So that I could be near to you I had my kidney taken out in a transplant operation So that I could enjoy the view And though I try to profess my love – it’s just no use I’m just another patient to you She is the one; she makes my heart beat strong like a drum In her uniform- she is my fantasy girl and I’ve gotta be patient in love I rubbed a neighbour’s cat all over my eyes last week knowing I had an allergy Put my hand into a pot of boiling water So that I could go to A & E And though I try to profess my love – you just can’t see I keep self-inflicting these injuries She is the one; she makes my heart beat strong like a drum In her uniform- she is my fantasy girl and I’ve gotta be patient in love
5.
Scratch 05:45
Love is a losing game; even though you try, you can’t refrain. You deceive, be deceived just the same. And you can’t deny, we’re both to blame. I’m in the shadows , you’re in the shadows, we’re in the shadows, we’re all out in the shadows. I’m in the shadows , you’re in the shadows, we’re in the shadows, we’re all out in the shadows. I don’t know why, oh why do I try? There must be some fight left in me. I’m sick and tired of always being wrong; will someone please come and help me. I don’t know why, oh why do I try? There must be some fight left in me. I’m sick and tired of always being wrong; will someone please come and help me. Love is a testing time; you get sucked in, it’s your place or mine. It’s relief, the grief and the blame, but you can’t deny that they all feel the same. I’m in the shadows , you’re in the shadows, we’re in the shadows, we’re all out in the shadows. I’m in the shadows , you’re in the shadows, we’re in the shadows, we’re all out in the shadows.
6.
Everybody is looking for something but no-one knows what it is. So raise your glass and touch her ass, it's time to party and back to mine for the biz. If you're lookin' to get some, you shouldn't say: you never know what'll come your way. If you're lookin' to get some, you shouldn't say: you never know what'll come your way. The golden rule is that a gentleman never tells. Everybody is looking for something but no-one knows how to get it. So raise your glass and touch her ass, it's time to party and let's just hope we don't regret it.
7.
Lothario 03:13
Young nubile ladies, God has been so kind, when you're around you're taking over my mind. Those curvy ladies, have never been so sweet, when you're around, you're certainly a pleasurable treat. Hold me close and always remember, gonna be my girl forever and ever but you don't love me, no you don't love me. My cougar lover, God has been so kind, those healing hands are helping me to unwind. Those curvy ladies, have never been so sweet, I'm feasting my eyes on your thighs and they're having a treat. Hold me close and always remember, gonna be my girl forever and ever but you don't love me, no you don't love me. Place your hands upon my thighs, you're in line for a nice surprise.
8.
Threesome 02:58
She's from Mississippi, I'm from Tennessee. She likes playing dirty while my favourite number's three. When love strikes, it swallows you whole. When love bites, it swallows you whole. She's being more than friendly and I'm too blind to see that she likes doing doggystyle while my favourite number's three. When love strikes, it swallows you whole. When love bites, it swallows you whole. Why'd she have to go and break my heart? Why'd she have to go and break my heart? I knew she was trouble, when she climbed out from the rubble, I knew she was trouble from the start. But why'd she have to go and break my heart?
9.
She smiles at me within magazines, She is the hottest thing that I’ve ever seen. I close my eyes and she’s in my dreams, I’d like to be with her for a day. But she won’t sleep with me, She still retains her dignity. But she can’t sleep with me, She’s just a girl in a magazine. Her hair sits perfectly My God she is fine But my head keeps thrashing On this headboard of mine Close my eyes ‘cause I’ve got a picture in my mind While my hands keep working away. She is the girl of a thousand styles, She’s got legs that go on for miles, She’s got the poise and she’s got the grace, She’s got the body and she’s got the face, She’s got the lips and she’s got the pout, She’s got this whole world figured out, She’s got the lashes and the 10 year plan, And I’m just desperate to be her man. But she won’t sleep with me, She still retains her dignity. But she can’t sleep with me, She’s just a girl in a magazine. Her hair sits perfectly My God she is fine But my head keeps thrashing On this headboard of mine Close my eyes ‘cause I’ve got a picture in my mind While my hands keep working away.
10.
I gotta stay true, I gotta be anything other than being too gentle. Me and my girl we have a one track mind. I’m thinking all blue, I’m thinking of you when I see your legs come into view. Me and my girl we have a one track mind. I know that the time is coming closer, I know that the time is now. Stay with me tonight yeah, to the morning light when we wake up. I gotta be strong, I gotta makes sure that I can go all night long yeah. Me and my girl we have a one track mind. I know I’m a flirt, I know it won’t hurt, I’m running my hands under your skirt. Me and my girl we have a one track mind. I know that the time is coming closer, I know that the time is now. Stay with me tonight yeah, to the morning light when we wake up.

credits

released September 3, 2012

Written, recorded and produced by Ricky Graham.
Bass by the enigmatic and most wonderful Rex P. Barker III

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